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Everyone reckons they could do better on Too Hot To Handle

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Close All Tabs

Everyone reckons they could do better on Too Hot To Handle

Plus Sex/Life & Sexy Beasts

Michael Sun
Jul 1, 2021
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Welcome to Close All Tabs, a weekly newsletter where we collate the best bits of screen culture from around the Internet. In other words, we’re online 24/7 so you don’t have to be. Mwah!
Close All Tabs is part of Netflix Pause, a publication that’s all about hitting pause to reflect on the latest film and TV. Subscribe now to get three free newsletters in your inbox every week diving into screen culture.


Icon and Netflix Pause contributor Brigid Delaney said it best:

Twitter avatar for @BrigidWD
Brigid Delaney @BrigidWD
During the two week lockdown I plan to close all my tabs
5:32 AM ∙ Jun 26, 2021
370Likes9Retweets

Unfortunately I will not be taking her advice. Here’s everything I (continue to) have open:


9 Too Hot To Handle tabs

Honestly I think I would do great on Too Hot To Handle (producers if you’re reading this DM me), a show where you can win money by drinking, partying, soaking up the sun, and not touching anyone else, an area that I am extremely well-versed in. Apparently I am not alone:

Twitter avatar for @h_rosie_
hannah @h_rosie_
Too hot to handle is such an absurd show, if someone offered me $10k to not have sex for two months it would be the easiest money I’ve ever made in my LIFE
4:43 PM ∙ Jun 27, 2021
1,873Likes179Retweets

Although I think I might be driven mad by the other contestants on this show. THERE IS $100K ON THE LINE STOP KISSING.

Twitter avatar for @YurfavvJojo
jojo🦋 @YurfavvJojo
If I was on too hot to handle I would slap everyone who made us loose money
2:56 AM ∙ Jun 24, 2021
760Likes116Retweets

Everyone is losing it at the antics of Cam, who — in the wise words of Selena Gomez — cannot keep his hands to himself.

Twitter avatar for @purposeflicker
alicia @purposeflicker
me everytime i think of cam from too hot to handle, when he's the biggest player in the series so far and has lost the most money
Image
7:20 PM ∙ Jun 25, 2021
40Likes4Retweets
Twitter avatar for @ellanorcym
daddy devito (she/her) @ellanorcym
Cam: smiles The entire house: #TooHotToHandle
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12:54 AM ∙ Jun 25, 2021
1,058Likes134Retweets

But look, it’s not Cam’s fault only — they have literally lost $21,000 by the end of the first episode so I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say everyone is a hornbag.

Twitter avatar for @ujasna1
ujasna @ujasna1
i thought twitter was horny and then i watched too hot to handle s2
10:01 AM ∙ Jun 24, 2021
32Likes3Retweets
Twitter avatar for @realitystxn
Kendall @realitystxn
These people are gonna owe Lana money by the time the show is over 💀 #TooHotToHandle
Image
7:08 PM ∙ Jun 23, 2021
3,961Likes468Retweets

At least we can all agree on one thing, which is that we love Melinda.

Twitter avatar for @virgocul
es 𓆩❤︎𓆪 @virgocul
only reason why ill be watching too hot to handle
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2:02 AM ∙ Jun 25, 2021
23,185Likes3,461Retweets

Also ICYMI, Too Hot To Handle initially set up a very elaborate ruse to trick its contestants into coming onto the show under the guise of a different reality gig called ‘Parties in Paradise’ — a fake island-hopping competition where the biggest party animal wins. One contestant almost figured out the scam, though — find out who it is at Refinery29.

Finally, a little throwback to this Season 1 interview with show narrator and resident comedian Desiree Burch in Vulture, who delivers the reference we’ve all been waiting for: iconic Seinfeld episode ‘The Contest’ where Jerry, Kramer, and George make a bet to see who can last the longest without pleasuring themselves. “I thought there’s definitely a TV show in there,” Burch says. “That, coupled with my friend showing me a conversation between her and a guy on Tinder, which literally went from two texts straight to a dick pic. I was like, Something’s going wrong in society. We need to sort this out.”


3 Sex/Life tabs

Do not ask me why everyone is so horny this week, I do not know. What I do know, however, is that everyone who has watched Sex/Life — a soapy, salacious sensation about a married woman’s fantasies involving her bad-boy ex — has the exact same question.

Twitter avatar for @Katie05435645
Katie @Katie05435645
Ep 3 at 19:59 seconds #sexlife
Charlemagne Breakfast GIF
10:04 AM ∙ Jun 26, 2021
769Likes156Retweets
Twitter avatar for @booklover1190
melissa garcia @booklover1190
After seeing THAT particular scene in episode 3...she's won in life 😂 #sexlife
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12:23 PM ∙ Jun 27, 2021
198Likes38Retweets

As HRHCollection said: If you get it you get it, if you don't you don't, if you know you know and if you don't know, like I honestly feel bad for you, like I cannot explain it, I don't have the vocabulary to sit here and explain like either you get the vibe or you don't get the vibe. (Luckily if you don’t know you can read the deep — and I mean deep — dive over at Punkee).


2 Sexy Beasts tabs

Ah, the show that keeps on giving, and it hasn’t even premiered yet. The Washington Post sums it up best: lions and tigers and bears, oh my! (When Dorothy said this she didn’t know what she was actually saying was a list of animal prosthetics you will see people wearing to blind dates in Sexy Beasts).

Watch the trailer before it premieres July 21.

Twitter avatar for @NetflixANZ
Netflix ANZ @NetflixANZ
Welcome to the strangest blind date ever — #SexyBeasts, where real-life singles sport beastly prosthetics to put true chemistry to the test. Premiering July 26 🐼
Image
12:33 AM ∙ Jun 24, 2021
31Likes9Retweets

Will next week’s Close All Tabs be less horny??? Who’s to say!


Okay, 1 more tab

This photo from the Flushed Away premiere, which my friend rudely decided to spring on me earlier this week.

Twitter avatar for @clairexinwen
claire @clairexinwen
@lukempmccarthy @mlchaelsun
Image
1:47 PM ∙ Jun 24, 2021

How I feel in Sydney’s lockdown:

Send thoughts and prayers in the comments.

Leave a comment


Phew. Time to close all tabs.
Netflix Pause is produced by the Netflix ANZ editorial team who you can also follow on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. If you haven’t already, subscribe to us to get three free newsletters in your inbox each week filled with deep dives into screen culture. And leave us a comment too, if you’d like!
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